Imagine Jeremy Renner taking you to a football game, explaining all the plays, and making you wear his jacket when he sees you shivering.
David Attenborough narrates:
Here we see the rare Tom “Loki” Hiddleston hybrid in his natural habitat. Notice how he slays the womenfolk with his impossibly well-defined cheekbones and a slight lift of his brows. A single outburst of his EHEHE laughter alone has been known to make a thousand fangirls swoon. Combined with his articulate British accent and pornographic hands, this hybrid form of Hiddlestonia Maniaca is one of the deadliest known to mankind. His expressive eyes and lips are practically oozing with seduction, which he uses to lure more victims into his trap. Then he toys with them, politely showing remorse at the lives he has ruined and will continue to ruin as he wreaks havoc upon slorekind as we know it.
"After wrapping Guardians of the Galaxy I was very homesick and I was coming home to my wife and my son, who at the time was 13 months old. My wife told me ‘Hey, listen there’s a chance he may not recognize you and he may be a little shy’ and so I came in there, and he just sat right up and had this big smile on his face. He started saying ‘Daddy, daddy, daddy!’ and I just started to cry. He saw the tears in my eyes and started doing bits to make me laugh and that just made me cry more."
- Chris Pratt on the best day of his life.